Married with children
When you both die, who raises the kids — and who handles the money?
The two questions that matter most for married parents with children at home. Get them in writing once and update them every few years.
What matters in your case
Get these four things right.
Mirror wills, not 'one for both'
Each spouse needs their own will. Mirror wills are two cross-referenced documents that say the same things, signed independently.
Guardian + alternate guardian
Always name a backup. Life happens between the time you sign and the time it matters.
Separate guardian for the money
The person who raises your kids doesn't have to be the person who manages their inheritance — and often shouldn't be.
Beneficiary designations rule
Life insurance, retirement accounts, and TOD/POD accounts pass by beneficiary form, not by your will. Check them all.
The longer answer
Married parents tend to assume that the surviving spouse takes everything and the survivor's will sorts the rest out. Usually true — but the case that matters is when you both die. That's the case the will is actually for.
If both of you die without a will, the state appoints a guardian and decides what happens to the money. The guardian is often a relative the kids barely know; the money structure is whatever default the state has set. Your wills replace those defaults with your judgments.
A common pattern: name your sibling as guardian, name a cousin or trusted friend as the trustee who controls the money, set ages at which the kids can access principal (usually staggered: a third at 25, a third at 30, the rest at 35). It's not perfect. It's far better than the state's default.
Start your will today.
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