Marriage and estate planning — what changes the day you say "I do"

Marriage is the single most consequential estate-planning event short of having children. It changes default inheritance, default decision-making, default tax treatment, and default real-estate titling. Most newlyweds get to the will-and-beneficiary update conversation about three years later — long after the defaults have already kicked in.

This is the version of the conversation you should have in year one.

What changes automatically

In every U.S. state, marriage triggers some defaults:

Statutory share / elective share. A surviving spouse can claim a percentage of the estate (usually one-third to one-half) regardless of what your will says. Designed to prevent disinheritance. Different from community property.

Community property states (9 + Wisconsin). AZ, CA, ID, LA, NM, NV, TX, WA, WI. Anything earned during the marriage is jointly owned 50/50, regardless of titling. At death, the surviving spouse keeps half automatically; the deceased's will controls the other half.

Tenancy by the entirety states. Some states let married couples title the home as "tenants by the entirety," which gives automatic survivorship and protection from one spouse's individual creditors. AK, AR, DE, FL, HI, IL, IN, KY, MD, MA, MI, MS, MO, NJ, NC, OK, OR, PA, RI, TN, VT, VA, WY (plus DC).

Default healthcare decision-making. If you're hospitalized without a healthcare directive, most states put the spouse first on the next-of-kin priority list. Better than nothing, but a directive lets you specify limits on the spouse's authority and a successor.

Marital deduction for federal estate tax. Unlimited transfers between U.S.-citizen spouses are estate-tax-free at the first death. Doesn't eliminate tax, just defers it to the second death.

What does NOT change automatically:

• Beneficiary forms on retirement accounts. Your ex-spouse from before this marriage is still named on your IRA unless you update.
• Old wills. Some states automatically revoke a pre-marriage will at marriage; most don't. The will from your single days probably still applies.
• Tax filing status. You can choose joint or married-filing-separately; neither happens automatically.

Beneficiary forms — the day-one task

Within the first 30 days of marriage:

• [ ] Pull every retirement account, life insurance policy, TOD/POD bank account.
• [ ] Update the named beneficiaries.
• [ ] Spousal consent on ERISA retirement plans — if you name someone other than your spouse, the spouse must consent in writing. Often required even when you ARE naming the spouse, just for the file.

A new will — the year-one task

The pre-marriage will probably needs replacing. New names, new structures, new percentages. A pre-marriage will that leaves "everything to my brother" is technically still valid but creates probate fights when your spouse claims the elective share against it.

Patterns:

First marriage, no kids: Usually all to spouse outright, residuary to siblings/charity if spouse predeceases.

First marriage, with kids: All to spouse outright (kids inherit through spouse later) is the simplest. More careful: set up a structure that supports spouse for life and ensures kids inherit eventually. A QTIP trust does this.

Second marriage with kids from prior relationship: This is the case where defaults are dangerous. Leaving everything to the new spouse can disinherit your kids — see the article on blended-family estate planning.

Healthcare directive and POA

Both should be signed early. Each spouse names the other as healthcare agent and financial agent, with explicit limits and an alternate (in case both spouses are incapacitated together — a real risk in shared activities or auto accidents).

Without these, the default "spouse as next of kin" gets you 70% of the way but leaves friction at the worst moment.

Real estate titling

How your home is titled determines what happens at the first death:

Joint tenancy with right of survivorship (JTWROS): Survivor takes the whole property automatically, no probate. Good for couples without complex children-from-prior-marriage situations.

Tenancy by the entirety (where available): Same survivorship benefit plus protection from one spouse's individual creditors. Better than JTWROS for asset protection.

Tenants in common: Each spouse owns a separable interest; their share goes through their will. Useful in second-marriage situations where you want your share to go to your kids, not your new spouse.

If you bought the home pre-marriage and you've now married, consider whether to retitle. The choice depends on whether you want survivor-takes-all (JTWROS / tenants by entirety) or independent estate planning (tenants in common).

Tax filing — joint vs separate

Almost always joint, but:

• Married-filing-separately matters if one spouse has high deductible medical expenses, student-loan income-driven repayment plans, or significant non-passive losses.
• Run both ways the first year and pick the better outcome.

Estate-planning impact: tax filing doesn't change your will, but it does change how income and capital gains flow during life, which affects how much your estate accumulates.

Pre-nups and post-nups in the picture

If you signed a prenuptial agreement that addressed estate matters, the agreement constrains what the surviving spouse can claim against your will. A clean prenup that waived elective-share rights gives you more flexibility in the will. Without one, the spouse's elective-share right is a hard floor.

A postnuptial agreement (signed during marriage) does the same. Both should be drafted by attorneys.

The conversation

If you're newly married and reading this: the actionable list is short.

1. This week: Audit beneficiary forms. Update them.
2. This month: Sign new wills. Sign healthcare directives and durable POAs. Update the home's title if needed.
3. This year: Talk through what happens if both of you die together. Who raises kids? Who handles the money? Document.
4. Every 3-5 years: Re-review.

The hard part isn't the documents. It's the half-hour conversation about what you actually want — for the survivor's life, for your children's lives, for the worst-case scenario neither of you wants to think about. Do it once well, and you don't have to do it again until something material changes.